History Lesson

My grandson is majoring in history with a minor in education.  He aspires to teach history in high school some day.

Imagine that day.

Teacher: "Class will please come to order.  Today we will discuss the first decade of the present century.  Can anyone tell me who was president for most of the decade?"

Little Jimmy:  "Somebody named Allhell."

T.:  "Wherever did you get that idea?"

LJ: "From my Dad.  He said Allhell ruled during that decade."

T: "Actually, George W. Bush was president for eight of the ten years.  Bill Clinton was still President in 2000, and Barrack Obama became President in 2009.  Who can tell us what distinguished the transition from Clinton to Bush?"

Mary Brightlights: "Bush inherited a budget surplus from Clinton and promptly ran up a national debt in the trillions.  This was done through a process called  'fiscal responsibility.''"

T: "Excellent, Mary.  You get another 'A.'  Now, for an A-plus, can you tell us what this process entailed?

MB: "Cutting taxes for rich people and starting an endless war."

T: "Very good, Mary.  Now then, can anyone else tell us more of the history of this war?"

Big Andy: "Well, Teach, a bunch of Ayrabs from Saudi Arabia and Egypt hijacked some airplanes and flew them into buildings in New York and Washington.  So, naturally, we had to invade Iraq because Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction and hated President Bush's daddy."

BM:  "No, no!  Saddam hated us because of our freedom.  So we had to pass the PATRIOT Act, which took away that freedom by canceling the Bill of Rights.  And so if we didn't fight Saddam over there we'd have had to fight him here."

BA: "But when we got to Iraq it was like, 'Whoa, there ain't no weapons of mass destruction here!'"

BM: "But we brought democracy to the Middle East, which enabled them to kill one another with suicide bombs and the Sword of Islam."

BA: "We are a Christian nation and God spoke to President Bush and told him Islam is the Axis of Evil."

T: "Who can tell the class what distinguished Bush's final year as President?"

LJ: "Allhell broke loose."

T: "Explain, please."

LJ: "The 'conomy went down the toilet. "

BM: "People couldn't pay their mortgages and got foreclosed."

BA: "The big banks went broke."

BM: "Retirement savings vanished in a puff of smoke."

T: "And whose fault was this?"

BM: "Bill Clinton's, of course."

T:  "Excellent, Mary.  You now have an A-double plus."

T: "What did Barrack Obama promise if he were elected?"

Class (in unison): "Change!"

T: "And what changed after he was elected?"

Silence.  Finally:

BM: "The name on the  Oval Office door."

T: "Mary, you're the first student who ever earned an A-triple plus in one of my classes."

BM: "I owe it all to my  Republican family's values."