C. Meghan Starbuck, an assistant professor of economics at New Mexico State University, is working on a way to turn microalgae, and millions of their tiny, slimy friends, into a successful fuel industry for her state.
This research has extraordinary promise. If microalgae can profitably produce fuel, think what bull excrement could do!
Dr. I. Chan Chu, my all purpose science expert, came up with these estimates:
Residue from Rush Limbaugh broadcasts and speeches could fill all the power needs of the Atlantic northeast for 36 to 40 years.
Glenn Beck's leavings could power the entire U.S. Navy fleet for the next 13 years of our endless war.
Bill O'Reilly could provide enough energy for five flights to Mars and back.
Dr. Chu is still running the calculations on the energy potential of Laura Ingraham, Lou Dobbs, Newt Gingrich, Joe Lieberman, Michael Steele, Mitch McConnell, Charles Krauthammer, Steve Pearce, Sean Hannity, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Sarah Palin, John McCain, Ed Petru, Mike Huckabee, Lou Engle and Alberto Gonzales.
Chu has to move very carefully on this, because he's working on an expensive new computer. His old one blew up when he tried to run the BS calculations on George W. Bush.
"When this enormous body of work is finished," Chu said, "I'll start doing the bull excrement power potential of Democrats. We think President Obama's campaign promises alone could keep Cleveland running for several weeks."
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